As an Advanced Grief Recovery Specialist, one of the definitions I was taught grief is, “Grief is the conflicting feelings that come, at the end of an end or change in a familiar pattern of behavior”. This struck me the other day when I was in session with one of my clients and talking about the end of 2020 and the looking forward to meeting each other in person again.
As we have been meeting on an online platform, I recall March 2020 and my fears around, “How can I make a connection and a therapeutic alliance on zoom? How will I be able to convey my empathy and active listening?” Then, I became comfortable with doing telehealth as Iworked out kinks and what to do when internet and wifi connections went down or clients froze or I froze in the little box that we were in.
Yes, I became comfortable with this format…..too comfortable with this format. I hardly left the house in 10 months and counting. I believe I left my home all of 10 times in 10 months. Yes, you read that correctly.
So, after that session, I felt that same fear rush over me, especially with my clients whom I have only met on zoom! What if the “zoom me” is a better clinician than the in person me? Yes, I know silly, however, I’ve become so used to telehealth that I forgot how it would be for full body engagement…not just shoulders, hands and face.
My thoughts went to one of the definitions of grief. Change in a familiar way of doing things. The remote work became familiar. Yes, I do realize we are at the surge again, however, it is different this time. There is a vaccine and more equipment and let’s face it, next year, we will all have to return back to the office and school.
Conflicting feelings! Yay, get to see co-workers….uh-oh, commutes and have to leave my humble la bode.
Grief can be the result of over 40 plus experiences that can occur over a lifetime.
Shifting back to the non-masking up, non-remote life is one of them. Change in a behavior that became familiar.
