I don’t think any man in this world could ever compare to my grandfather. He was the most kind, most gentle, most compassionate man I have ever met. Well, at least to me. To some, they may have remembered him as a grumpy, sarcastic, Archie Bunker type sitting on his chair watching, ironically, “All in the Family”.
However, being the youngest of his grandchildren, I could do no wrong. He would say some cranky comment to another family member, and then wink and smile at me. It was as if we had a secret song that only we could hear the tune.
My grandfather, Louis Toth, had a heart of gold. Growing up, he had only one brother, William. My great grandparents, being an immigrant family from Hungary, opened up a butcher shop. My grandfather, was in law school and had to drop out to run the butcher shop, so his younger brother could go to medical school. Finances were tough. Some one had to run the business. My Uncle Bill (William), became a well-known doctor around New Jersey. He even has a park named after him. My grandfather never felt bitter (or at least he never showed it) that he didn’t get to finish law school and live out his dreams. He did have a passion. Putting together these extravagant boat sets. He did this in his basement. He never let anyone help him with it……..except me.
Yes, I was his favorite, and we had a bond that was unbreakable. Or so I thought. I was a junior in high school when my grandfather caught pneumonia. He went down fast. My mother said that he was asking for me, and I went to the hospital and my heart sank. I still have a hard time with what I saw that day. He was hallucinating. He screamed out, “Sharon, no get away from there, my Sharon. Someone help her. It is going to fall on you,” he cried out, tears fell down his cheeks and his face grimaced in a pain that still cuts me to the core till this day.
He died a few hours later. Gone too soon. Yes, he was gone, although he managed to still come visit me during two nearing death experiences. My grandfather, was my first encounter with death and dying. It was and is a huge loss for me. However, I know he is always around me, and I know he is waiting on the other side for me. It is just not my time yet as he had told me during my nearing death experience. But when it is my time, I sure can’t wait to see his smile, see his sparkly eyes and make many many ships and boats together and eat those vanilla oreos with ice cream that he kept hidden only for me.
